I want to sell things on the internet
What follows is an actual recent conversation between a customer support representative at Net Solutions (our ISP/host) and a prospect. As a matter of good taste, the names have been changed to protect the innocently ignorant:
June: I want to sell things on the internet. Is this something you can do for us?
Olya: Yes, absolutely. What do you sell?
June: I have a home based business and I do mail order.
Olya: Ok, that's fine. Do you have a domain name?
June: Yes, I have a business name.
Olya: That's good. Do you have a domain name?
June: A what?
Olya: A domain name is the internet web address of your web site. This also becomes part of your email address.
Nothing but the reverberating sound of silence.
Olya: It's the part that comes after the WWW. It usually ends in "dot com dot au" or "dot com".
June: Oh.
Olya: You will need to register a domain name before you can publish a web site.
June: Oh.
Olya: Will you need a web site?
June: Ok, I'll have one of those.
At this point Olya nearly falls off her ergonomically-designed chair in hysterics.
Olya: Could you email me the domain name you'd like us to register for you, including your contact details, business name and ABN?
June: I don't have email.
Olya proceeds to patiently explain about the Net Solutions internet access options.
June: OK, that sounds good, I'm interested in the dial-up option. Do I just call this number from the phone?
Olya: We will supply you with a username and password, and your computer will instruct your modem to connect to this number.
June: Oh. I don't have a computer.
Olya politely suggests that she purchase a computer and contact her when she's ready.
June: While I've got you, my boyfriend has stacks of Elvis memorabilia, over $300,000 worth, which he wants to sell on Ebay. Do you know how he can contact them?
Olya: Yes, he can go to www dot ebay dot com dot au.
June: My boyfriend doesn't have a computer either, do you have a phone number that he can call them on so that he can describe the stuff he wants them to sell?
Olya: Hello? Hello?
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About the author
Ivan Lutrov is the owner of Lutrov Interactive. He creates cost effective business websites that are simple, engaging and very easy to use. When not busy working on client and personal projects, he's into photography, fishing, cricket, tennis, music from the 70s, cooking, good wine, and apparently knows "way too much" about movies. He tells it like it is, whether you like it or not. Subscribe to the Lutrov Interactive feed via RSS and follow Ivan on Twitter.