What follows is an actual recent conversation between a customer support representative at Net Solutions (our ISP/host) and a prospect. As a matter of good taste, the names have been changed to protect the innocently ignorant:
June: I want to sell things on the internet. Is this something you can do for us?
Olya: Yes, absolutely. What do you sell?
June: I have a home based business and I do mail order.
Olya: Ok, that’s fine. Do you have a domain name?
June: Yes, I have a business name.
Olya: That’s good. Do you have a domain name?
June: A what?
Olya: A domain name is the internet web address of your web site. This also becomes part of your email address.
Nothing but the reverberating sound of silence.
Olya: It’s the part that comes after the WWW. It usually ends in “dot com dot au” or “dot com”.
June: Oh.
Olya: You will need to register a domain name before you can publish a web site.
June: Oh.
Olya: Will you need a web site?
June: Ok, I’ll have one of those.
At this point Olya nearly falls off her ergonomically-designed chair in hysterics.
Olya: Could you email me the domain name you’d like us to register for you, including your contact details, business name and ABN?
June: I don’t have email.
Olya proceeds to patiently explain about the Net Solutions internet access options.
June: OK, that sounds good, I’m interested in the dial-up option. Do I just call this number from the phone?
Olya: We will supply you with a username and password, and your computer will instruct your modem to connect to this number.
June: Oh. I don’t have a computer.
Olya politely suggests that she purchase a computer and contact her when she’s ready.
June: While I’ve got you, my boyfriend has stacks of Elvis memorabilia, over $300,000 worth, which he wants to sell on Ebay. Do you know how he can contact them?
Olya: Yes, he can go to www dot ebay dot com dot au.
June: My boyfriend doesn’t have a computer either, do you have a phone number that he can call them on so that he can describe the stuff he wants them to sell?
Olya: Hello? Hello?
