 Chain letter response
Monday, 8 May 2006
A couple of day ago, I got another one of those chain letters which promises much money, just for forwarding the stupid email to as many people as you know. Even though this particular email has been circulating around the internet for at least a couple of years, it seems that there’s plenty of greedy suckers out there who seemingly continue to take the bait.
This was the old Microsoft/AOL Giveaway which promises lots and lots of money, just for sending the chain letter to others. By the time this hoax landed in my inbox, there were over 360 email addresses included. A few were people I know (apart from the knucklehead who sent it to me) but the overwhelming majority are people I have never come into contact with in my life. Not just people from Australia and New Zealand but people from around the globe.
Apart from the greedy ignoramuses who blindly forward this type of junk, I wonder how many others are aware that their email address is going into inboxes of total strangers, right around the world? Since I’m a big believer in adult education, I thought the appropriate thing to do is to send a reply, to each and every one of those sitting ducks:
My name is not important and you probably don’t even know me but your email address was one of 367 (yes, 367) email addresses included in a CHAIN LETTER, which recently wound up in my inbox, entitled:
“Read this and see what you think”
“PLEEEEEEASE REEEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA TO…”
Yes, I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f***ng chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Tasmania with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
To those of you who contributed to this problem by forwarding that email, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send “his” email, $243.00? If so, how STUPID are you?
“Ooooh, look here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!” What a load of bulls**t. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by the Apostle Peter in 5AD and brought to Australia by midget pilgrims on the First Fleet.
My point?
If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, DELETE it. Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward that email.
Here’s a sample of some of the IDIOTIC comments people have made in forwarding that particular chain letter:
“SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I’m an attorney, And I know the law.”
“Try it - it could be a great thing!”
“You never know what may happen with this one”
“I AM NOT A BELIEVER…BUT MAYBE SOME OF YOU ARE…..GOOD LUCK”
“Hi guys, lets make some cash!”
“Can’t hurt.”
WELL IT DOES F***ING HURT, YOU MORON. IT HURTS BECAUSE YOU’RE FORWARDING LEGITIMATE EMAIL ADDRESSES OF PEOPLE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION. WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU’RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE BARBARIC SPAM PROBLEM WE ALL FACE EVERY DAY.
By the way:
NO COMPANY HAS ANY WAY OF TRACKING EMAIL OUTSIDE THEIR SYSTEM - NO, NOT EVEN MICROSOFT. THERE IS NO SUCH TECHNOLOGY. EVEN IF THERE WERE, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE AGAINST THE LAW TO TRACK IT FOR PRIVACY MATTERS.
Now forward THIS to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. If your genitals remain intact, you might find this article an informative read:
http://lutrov.com/blog/email-etiquette/
Maybe some will learn from it and maybe some just won’t understand what the fuss is all about. I’m willing to bet, however, that a large portion will just remain blissfully indifferent.
L’ignorance est bonheur.
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Carnivorous underwear ... too funny.
I received a chain letter today with a 5 piece attached and I couldn't more peeved about it. But I will never forget the day that I saw couple with their child and there on the child's forehead was a lump with what looked like a nipple in the middle of. I must let you know that I will be forwarding my letter on to the ACCC but maybe we shouldn't be so quick to discriminate.
Thanks for this! :) I actually have received your message in my inbox at one point or another in time. I just can not stand receiving the hundreds of chain letters a month from friends and family (many of which I've had the unfortunate chance to read). So, again, thanks for this!